You temporarily left me and now I'm losing it
Okay, so life has changed dramatically since my last post six months ago. October 29th, 2019 was the worst day of my year because it was the last full day I got to spend with Isaac before he left on his two year mission. Well that day I got uptight about car issues. I got mad ABOUT THAT. I was getting stressed to a "T" that my life was about to change. The one person I wanted to spend it with happened to be the person I got mad at....seriously Kenzie???? Luckily after an hour or two I let it all go, because I realized my mistake, we forgave, and moved on like we always do.
Well the next day comes, October 30 and he leaves. Feeling sad and miserable? Yes. Bawled my eyes out more than once since he's been gone? You bet your bell bottoms I have. I think what sucks most of all is that he temporarily left and now I'm losing it. When you have a best friend you do everything with for most of the day, almost everyday and then you go straight to not spending time, talking to, or seeing them at all... IT. SUCKS. It does! It definitely feel like there is a hole in my heart that used to be there but now it's not because that person isn't there.
I feel similarly to when my grandmother unexpectedly passed away this year due to complications of heart surgery. Now I didn't spend everyday with her, but I've known her my whole life. Twenty years on this earth is all the time I got to spend with her. I'm going to rephrase what I just said a few sentences back but refer it to the loss of my grandma. When you have a grandmother you did everything with in your childhood and then you go straight to not spending time, talking to, or seeing them at all... IT. SUCKS. It does! It definitely feels like there is a hole in my heart that used to be there but now it's not because that person isn't there.
So what's the comparison? Isn't the loss of your grandmother so much worse? Well, yes and no. I say that because she's temporarily gone, but even though her physical body is no longer living... SHE IS STILL ALIVE. Alive in me, alive in spirit. Her soul is still alive.
That's the similarity. Isaac is temporarily gone but he is also still alive (no guys he didn't die!!) They are both not PHYSICALLY with me, and that's why I'm having such a hard time. I feel like a better person when I am with those people. That's what's so wonderful about having good people in your life. When you realize what life is without them, you start to realize how much more great your life was with them in it. Unfortunately though, we can only hang on to the MEMORIES with them for now, until we get to see them again. That is my hope, that I will see them again, like physically walking up to me and embracing me. How sweet that reunion will be. Until that day comes I will continue to move forward and try to be the best me I can be.
Well the next day comes, October 30 and he leaves. Feeling sad and miserable? Yes. Bawled my eyes out more than once since he's been gone? You bet your bell bottoms I have. I think what sucks most of all is that he temporarily left and now I'm losing it. When you have a best friend you do everything with for most of the day, almost everyday and then you go straight to not spending time, talking to, or seeing them at all... IT. SUCKS. It does! It definitely feel like there is a hole in my heart that used to be there but now it's not because that person isn't there.
I feel similarly to when my grandmother unexpectedly passed away this year due to complications of heart surgery. Now I didn't spend everyday with her, but I've known her my whole life. Twenty years on this earth is all the time I got to spend with her. I'm going to rephrase what I just said a few sentences back but refer it to the loss of my grandma. When you have a grandmother you did everything with in your childhood and then you go straight to not spending time, talking to, or seeing them at all... IT. SUCKS. It does! It definitely feels like there is a hole in my heart that used to be there but now it's not because that person isn't there.
So what's the comparison? Isn't the loss of your grandmother so much worse? Well, yes and no. I say that because she's temporarily gone, but even though her physical body is no longer living... SHE IS STILL ALIVE. Alive in me, alive in spirit. Her soul is still alive.
That's the similarity. Isaac is temporarily gone but he is also still alive (no guys he didn't die!!) They are both not PHYSICALLY with me, and that's why I'm having such a hard time. I feel like a better person when I am with those people. That's what's so wonderful about having good people in your life. When you realize what life is without them, you start to realize how much more great your life was with them in it. Unfortunately though, we can only hang on to the MEMORIES with them for now, until we get to see them again. That is my hope, that I will see them again, like physically walking up to me and embracing me. How sweet that reunion will be. Until that day comes I will continue to move forward and try to be the best me I can be.
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